A Collapse

 I didn't go to work today,
didn't worry abouthave to be present at meetings or bells, or students, hungry for attention, or markers that dried out between yesterday and today.

I felt unmoored and uncertain what to do with the time that stretched before me. I didn't know how to manage the exhaustion that overtook me and, instead of resisting it, gave in. I slept. Hours of time interspersed with moments of doubt and an unsettled quailing knot taking up residence in the pit of my stomach.

I was sick but didn't know where to find a cure for this malady and, as the minutes stretched into an afternoon, I made a nest into which I allowed myself to simply be. And that was day 1.